Finding the Lessons In Your Relationship

lessonsinrelationships

My first “relationship” was a total mess.  We stayed together for about a month and the break up screwed me up for at least 6. When it was over, I blamed her for every dramatically exaggerated emotion I went through. Because when you looked at the facts, it seemed clear she should’ve at least taken …

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Is (S)he Out of Your League?

outofyourleage

Just finished my second video blog! It's about how to deal with being more afraid of approaching attractive strangers than "regular strangers", or feeling more hurt when an attractive person doesn't like you: In terms of progress with these videos:  I'm obviously still going through the stage of "sucking" but I do think there's already some improvement …

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The Priming Principle

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[This is a small excerpt from my book "The 7 Traits You'll Need to Survive In the Digital Age", if you'd like to read the full thing, you can get instant access on this page.]   The Priming Principle In our day-to-day life experience, we mostly associate our idea of “having a brain” with the …

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You Should Go Cry In a Corner

Youtube

Lately I've been wondering if I should do videos or not and I just decided I totally should.  For 2 reasons: • Some things, especially when they are physical in nature, are just very hard to explain in a blog post • They make me feel really uncomfortable.  I mean, how are you supposed to capture …

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Embracing Your Dark Side

darthvader

Most of the people who read this blog (and 100% of the people who write it) are people who strive to -or at least make a conscious effort to- be the best person they can be. We all have some values or ideas in our heads about what constitutes a good person, and we aim to …

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This Mindset Change Could Change the World

mindset

Is there any real benefit to helping other people?  Isn’t it a lot smarter to make sure we have everything we need first?  Shouldn’t everyone just deal with their own shit? I mean, as long as you don’t actively make their situation worse (like by working at a debt collection agency), you’re a good guy, …

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Trim Your To-Do List

trimtodo

What if you only had 90 minutes to work every day, but you needed to be exactly as productive as you are now? It may sound like some science fiction scenario dreamed up by a blogger to get more clicks, but for most people it’s actually a surprisingly easy feat to accomplish. The typical American office …

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Looking for Shit-brown Linings

pexels-photo-111199

If you ever experienced a point in your life, when everything in your life seemed to suck donkey balls, you may have been on the receiving end of the following verbal pat on the back from one of your friends: "Every dark cloud has a silver lining." It's a phrase often tossed around in the general direction …

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Are You on ISIS’ Marketing Team?

criminal-1577887_1920

Yesterday a major event happened in the country where I live. Terrorism was all the rage again. It was horrible. People wouldn’t shut up about it. I’m not sure what exactly went down, but this is what I know from the news: • A car was driving really fast, trying to hit pedestrians • Luckily …

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How to Handle Stupid People

stupidpeople

You know that feeling when you’re having a conversation with someone and you’ve suddenly hit the edges of their understanding? When you discover that part in someone’s brain where they believe there’s a direct correlation between skin color /sexual orientation / favorite sports team and how much someone deserves to be kicked in the face.  …

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One Day, This Will All Be Over

fontcandy

Yesterday I fasted and cooked up a medicinal psilocybin concoction with a few friends.  It was one of the lightest trips I had ever experienced in terms of "drugginess".  But I did get some very profound new insights about who I am and how I long to relate to others. At one point, I experienced something I'd describe …

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Short-Term Pleasure vs Long-Term Happiness

shorttermlongterm

As human beings, we are wired to move towards pleasure and away from pain (though I guess it gets a little more complicated when you’re into S&M).  In essence this is a pretty decent survival strategy.  A lot of painful things can get you killed.  Like great white sharks, psychopaths with chain saws.  Or spray …

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Better Questions to Ask Instead of “Why?”

fontcandy

Remember how as a little kid, people told you what you could or couldn’t do and you didn’t like it? So everyone time someone told you to follow yet another rule, you asked them: “But why?’’ But 9 out of 10 times, you received a very unsatisfying answer like ‘’Because I say so.’ or the cringeworthy …

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The 3 Things You Feel Most Uncomfortable Doing

uncomfortable

One of my best friends often asks me: “What is the best possible question we can ask ourselves right now?” Which, ironically, often is one of the best possible questions one can ask themselves. Yesterday that question was: “What are the 3 things you need to do, you that would make you most uncomfortable doing?” …

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The Ultimate Guide to Living the Good Life

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Do you sometimes catch yourself dreaming about the good life? Having enough money to spend your days doing all kinds of crazy stuff.  Bungee jumping, lavish parties, being surrounded by lots of gorgeous whatever-type-of-human-it-is-you-dig. Not having anything in the world to worry about? To most of us "regular peeps" it seems like a far-away fantasy.  One we'll …

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What You Can Learn from the People You Hate

fontcandy

When you look around in the world, what do you see? What kind of people is it filled with?  How do events generally tend to transpire over and over again?  Are there any clear patterns you can recognize? Is it a cruel world?  An unfair world?  Or a fun one filled with love? Is there …

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Creating Fertile Soil for Honesty

creating fertile soil

Are you also disgusted by the way some people can lie to your face without so much as blinking an eye? Do you sometimes wonder if there’s anyone left in your life you can still trust? I know how that feels.  Wondering how some people can still look themselves in the mirror literally used to …

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The Benefits of Vulnerability

benefitsofvulnerability

One of the major evolutions I went through in 2016 was learning to make myself as vulnerable as possible.  So it’s kinda strange that I haven’t written anything about it during that year.  Perhaps I was too afraid to expose myself to criticism about it 😉  (I have a rule on this blog that any …

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The One Book You Need to Stop Reading Right Now

theonebookyouneedtostopreading

During a hypnosis session in which both the hypnotist and my subconscious showed me all sorts of interesting stuff, I was once walking through a big city. There was something strange about the scenery.  Every single person on the street was dressed in the same boring fashion.  And they were all reading books while walking.  …

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How to Overcome Writer’s Block

writersblock

As the tagline so adequately explains, I started this blog as a medium for sharing ideas for a better life, a better world and a better you. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I also started it as an outlet for self-expression.  To express things that go on inside of me that I …

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Picking Your Friends Consciously

pickingfriendsconsciously

A while ago, my dad was telling me about helping people with serious drug addictions.  After doing this for years, he told me he had learned that the real problem for recovering drug addicts is not the drugs.  It’s the friends. Letting go of your body’s addiction to heroine is one thing.  But when you just …

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True Rebellion

truerebellion

As a rebel, it’s surprisingly easy to actually miss the point of being a rebel entirely. I must admit that for most of my life, I didn’t get it.  My whole act of rebellion consisted of criticizing others, being a hater and doing my best to act in ways opposite of what people expected from me. …

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How to Have a Perfect Day

howtoperfectday

One short and simple exercise I did a year ago that had a tremendous impact on what my life looks like today, is to write out what my perfect day would look like. Basically you just take a sheet of paper (or your computer, if you happen to be one of those "hip" modern kids) …

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How to Deal With “Should Have Done’s”

shouldhavedone

As the end of the year approaches and you’re thinking about your new year’s resolutions, there’s also a chance that thought process may have been plagued –at least to some degree- with the occasional moment of regret. You look back at the past year, and there are some things you really think you were supposed …

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How to Stop Being Disappointed

disappointment

I used to be disappointed every single day. I’d get up somewhere in the afternoon, put my favorite record on, make myself some cocktails and get in a great mood.  Then I’d start to go about my day and something shitty would happen.  Every time. And in response I’d damn the whole fucking day to …

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The Opposite of Priorities

oppositeofpriorities

Without a doubt you’ve heard about “choosing your priorities” before. When you have lots of work to do and very little time (don’t we all?), you make a list of everything that needs to be done and pick out the most important ones. This way, you know what to work on first, and you can …

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Victims & Villains

victims

Does it sometimes seem to you like no one in this World still remembers the meaning of words like “honesty” or “trust”? Like everyone sooner or later stabs you in the back once they get the chance? Like it’s almost impossible to find a man that’s not an asshole or a woman that’s not a …

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How to Cure Winter Depression

winter-blues

“Winter depression” is a very common thing to get “struck by” this time of the year.  And I’m not immune to either.  Every year when the nights start getting longer and the days colder, I start to become a little more gloomy in my every day attitude. I noticed this again this year and I …

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Areas of Intimacy

intimacy

One of the things I like most about meeting new people is the fact that every single one of them is a pretty package full of surprises. No matter how long you’ve known each other, or how well you think you know them: underneath that familiar “tip-of-the-iceberg” face there will always be a myriad of ways …

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Do You Really Need to “Beat Your Fears”?

facing your fears

When you first start taking steps in the direction of improving yourself. Or when trying to make some of your bolder dreams come true, one of the first obstacles you will face are your own fears. Everyone knows that. Everyone knows that, but is it true? I used to be convinced it was.  It’s not …

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The Other 27 Club

27club

Have you ever heard of the infamous “27 club”? Chances are that you have.  Or perhaps you vaguely recall having heard of it, but don’t remember exactly what it was about or who the members were. The club refers to a number of exceptionally “talented” musicians who all passed away at the age 27.  It includes …

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Who Would You Be In 10,000 BC?

10000bc

Life choices in this “21 century digital world” can be pretty overwhelming at times. Especially in a world that’s changing so rapidly. Digital technology keeps improving at an exponential rate. New specialization degrees are popping up like mushrooms while older professions become irrelevant.  And what used to be the most powerful government on the planet got …

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How Can I Bother You Today?

mosquito-2

Imagine life itself came knocking at your door. And the first thing she said was “How can I help you today?”  “You can have any life you desire.  Nothing is impossible.  But after you choose it, there’s no going back.” What would you tell her?   Would you tell her you wanted the life of …

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When Are You Helping Your Friends Too Much?

battery22

These past 2 weeks, I was feeling a little overwhelmed by everything. All my friends seemed to need my help at the same time.  Of course I wanted to help them more than anything, because that’s what friends do.  But slowly, some sort of resentment started brewing under the surface. It started to show up …

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How to Overcome Addiction

howtoovercomeaddiction

I have a confession to make:  For most of my teenage years I was addicted. I was going to finish that sentence with “...to alcohol” but as I’ll explain later, I don’t believe that’s true.  Even though it definitely looked like it from an outside perspective. Every time I played a gig it was one bottle …

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How to Stop Judging People

howtostopjudging

A couple of weeks ago, in the process of learning how to become financially independent, I was searching high and low for the perfect business idea.  I knew I didn’t just want to do something for quick money. One of those days, I stumbled upon the Japanese concept of "Ikigai" which almost described exactly what I …

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Maps of Reality

mapsofreality

Have you ever seen one of those weird maps from earlier times that just seem very funny and… Well… totally wrong? I’m talking about maps like these: It’s crazy to imagine that somehow people in those times were still able to use them to navigate themselves through the world.  (Okay, sometimes they ended up in …

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My Search for a True Soul-to-Soul Connection

soul-to-soul-connection

It has always fascinated me how the languages we speak are so rich, nuanced and complicated, yet the better part of our communication happens on a non-verbal level. (Dare I say 70-90%? I always feel like statistics are complete bullshit. But hey, they fill space in newspapers and convince people.  So let’s roll with it …

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My Last Words

mylastwords

Last week a friend turned me on to an interesting idea. What if you were about to give a speech for the entire population of this planet.  Then suddenly some guy pointed a gun at your head and told you “Give the speech and I’ll let you finish, but I’ll shoot you in the head right …

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The Secret Career You Have But Don’t Know About

secretcareeryoudontknowabout

Quick question:  What is your main career/job right now before anything else?  (Hint:  It's probably not what you think.)  While you might be one of the lucky ones who actually guesses the answer to the above question correctly, 99% of the people on this planet don't.  It's a very odd statement to make, but the …

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How Big Is the Chance You’ll Fail to Reach Your Dreams?

howbigisthechance

When you have big dreams, people will often warn you about how unrealistic they are. “What if you fail?”  They’ll say.  “You’ll have nothing to fall back on.” With best intentions, they try to be a good friend/father/funspoiler and make you understand that there’s a very big chance you’re simply not cut out to become …

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What Would You Do With a Boss Like This?

whatwouldyoudo

What would you seriously do if you were stuck with a boss like this? Consider this scenario: The first thing they do when you see them is to consistently remind you of everything you haven't done that you're behind on. Then, after they've made you feel bad for not doing what you should have done, …

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First I Gotta…

First I Gotta...

If you're anything like most people, you probably have some things in your  life right now that you’d love to do but simply can’t until you’ve fixed whatever problem’s standing between you doing it.  Right? I you’re not entirely sure what I mean, here’s a shitload of examples from real people I know who are …

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Wave Your Freak Flag

waveyourfreakflag

Do you ever feel like you’re just a little different from most of the people around you? Are you and your “BFF” so great together because you’re both completely crazy in a way that no one else understands, but never fails to make the two of you smile? Are there parts of yourself even the …

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Can You Survive on Nothing but Power Naps?

powernaps

Can you survive without ever really sleeping longer than 20 minutes? I think it’s pretty much considered universal knowledge you can’t. A little more than a year ago I decided to do something dangerous and put that idea to the test.  I read reports from Steve Pavlina -one of my favorite writers- about his experiences …

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10 Lies About Working Out Everyone Still Believes

10LiesAboutWorking

I know the title of this article makes it look like clickbait.  I promise it’s not. I really want this post to have some “educational value” in the way that I hope it can liberate you from some limiting beliefs that plague  95% of the people who work out (even professionally) and live a lifestyle …

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The Manual of Life

Box

When I was a little kid, my favorite toys were always LEGOs.  Hands down. I wouldn’t even listen to anyone claiming that better toys existed. I liked a lot of stuff (let’s face it:  90’s toys were the shit) but there was something special about LEGOs.  They taught me about freedom, creativity and life at …

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How to Party Like a Legend – Without Drinking

Partylikealegend

Everyone loves a party, but nobody likes a hangover, am I right? Still for most people, that punishment is no reason to abstain from drinking the night before, and I totally understand why.  Some nights are simply so legendary that you can say without a trace of doubt that they’re worth the 5 day “epic …

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Free-Flowing Relationships

Free-Flowing Relationships

8 out of 10 times when someone asks me if I have a girlfriend, my answer pisses them off.   I'm not really sure why.  I guess I've just been blessed to meet a lot of people who really care a lot about my love life 😉 That's why I was always unsure about writing this …

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Fixing Your Problems the Fast Way

fixingyourproblems

You know how you can sometimes stumble upon a very old online conversation you had with your best friend (or perhaps read a page in your teenage diary) and can’t help but laugh about the pettiness of your problems and how serious they seemed back then? As you got older you gained perspective and realized …

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Fall In Love with Sucking

fallinlovewithsucking

Ever looked at a guy who's great with women and wondered “Why can’t that be me?” Ever took a bite of your best friend’s homemade cookies and thought “I want to do that too, but mine always end up tasting like a waste of time” ? Ever told your friend who plays guitar: “I tried to do …

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Is This Dying Man More Alive Than You?

isthisdyingman

I'd like to introduce you to a buddy of mine.  We'll simply call him [Buddy] for the sake of his privacy. [Buddy] and I don't see each other very often anymore but it has come to my attention that in recent years he's drastically turned his life around: He's been traveling the world, he's wearing more colorful …

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Just Be Yourself?

beyourself

"Just be yourself and all will be fine!" has got to be one of the most cliché pieces of advice that ever gets thrown around. Like most people, you probably received it from a good friend someday. Most likely it had something to do with dating, or maybe in your case it was about a …

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Are You “Free from” or “Free to”?

Are You "Free from" or "Free to"?

Last night a subtle difference between 2 small words somehow had a tremendous impact on me. For a while now one of my biggest goals had been to achieve a state of complete personal freedom one day.  And to help as many others as possible do the same in the process. I had a list …

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What You Can Learn from Your 3 Year Old Self

3yearold

Can you still remember what you were like as a little kid? In my case I was always excited to discover, learn and experience new things.  I think to most grown-ups I must've been the most annoying little fucker ever to have over at their house.  As soon as I crawled through the door I'd …

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Reality-based Relationships

realitybased

While you often don't realize it, the way you relate to the people in your life is constantly changing. • One week you're best friends, the next she stabs you in the back and you hate her (or you're dead, depending on how literally she stabbed you). • One day you're strangers and not the …

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Don’t Make This Mistake

dontmakethismistake

You know those moments when you really want to do something deep down, but something always keeps you from doing it the very last second? • Maybe you need to quit your job and get a better one • Maybe you need to tell someone you care about something that might hurt them or piss …

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Dropping the Sex Bomb

sexbomb

Today I woke up early, ready to get out and do stuff, but then I started thinking about sex and before I knew it 2 hours had passed and I was still in bed… Don’t worry, it’s not what you think. But it lured you in to read this, didn’t it? There have been a …

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Some Advice About Playing with Balls

balls

I had an important realization this week that I think holds some value for most of us. Do you ever tell yourself "I made my move, now the ball is in their court!" ? I used to do it all the time. I'd tell myself things like: • "I asked her out, she had no …

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How to Stay Motivated

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Someone asked me how I stay motivated every day. The truth is I don't: Motivation is like a one night stand. You share a passionate moment with her and you feel there's a real connection there but you know that when you wake up she might already be gone. It can feel amazing and it's …

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10 Steps to Making the New Year Your Bitch

2016

Here’s a small motivational story for anyone who needs it or is willing to read: 2015 was without a doubt the best year in my life so far. If yours wasn’t, you might say to yourself “Well, good for him. Hopefully I’ll get luckier this time.” But did I really get lucky?  Did an amazing …

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No Small Talk Experiment

smalltalk

I just decided to do this simple experiment next week and I'm inviting you to join me: While I made my last post mainly because I hate wasting time, it got me thinking. Too often, we all resort to small talk and safe topics because we are afraid to open up. We simply use it …

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